The Sun and the Moon
by SylnaeBoo
Summary: The history and life of Hotsuma and Shuusei. "Only the fierce brightness of the sun could reach this darkness"
1. Prologue

*Author's Notes* So here's my personal take on Hotsuma and Shuusei's past. Just my headcanon, please don't be offended if it doesn't match with yours :D

Ms. Odagiri did a great job developing these two, but I always wanted to know more about their history (and about the whole Zweilt's being reborn idea).

Any parts preceded by *Luna* will be from Shuusei's perspective, while anything preceded by *Sol* will be from Hotsuma's.

(Sun and Moon, haha I'm creative... *headdesk*)

Each chapter will be divided into a specific time period of each of their lives. (Labeled in the chapter titles)

WARNING: Some spoilers about their history that is mentioned in the manga and anime.

* * *

***Luna***

Darkness, an endless night. I am trapped, suffocated. Sustaining me, supporting me; my partner. A soul as bright as the sun. We are linked by a bond deeper than friendship, deeper than love. Inconceivable and alien to anyone who hadn't experienced its intoxicating effects, this bond binds our souls, our very beings. The core of my soul burned to protect our Light, but the rest of my life would, and always would, be devoted to my other.

In a moment, we are torn apart. One soul ripped from the other. A silent cry, a scream of pure agony, echoes within me. Where is he? Reason is nonexistent. I can't remember our elegant leader's reassurance that the halves will only separate for a moment. I can't remember the loving promise my partner and I made as the life left our bodies. I can't remember my dying wish. To protect him.

The darkness closes in, smothering me. But in an instance, I am reborn. Images flood my vision, I am surrounded by unfamiliar colors and odors. My mind acknowledges, for a moment, that I have been born anew, in a new body. To once again fight Reiga, and to protect the Light of God. The empty mind of a newborn infant begins to take over, and my memories flee to the darkest part of my subconscious.

* * *

*Sorry this one is so short*


	2. Childhood

***Sol***

"Mom!" I shout, as I dangle from the top of a steel swing set. "Look! Look!" With surprising agility and control, I leap into the air, relishing the feeling of flight. I land on the ground, rolling once before coming to a halt. My mother looks at me with a mixed expression of both worry and surprise.

"Wow!" My little brother's eyes are round with wonder. "Hotsuma! Teach me!" I grin at him, and then give a slightly more apologetic expression as my mother berates me for my recklessness. I chase my giggling brother around the park, his clumsy steps no match for my strangely advanced speed. I've always been advanced in motor skills, I was only six but I could outrun boys four years my senior. I run close enough to nip at his heels, then allow him to run a bit further away, screaming with laughter. The hours pass, and I soon run off to meet with another friend, leaving my brother with my mother.

My friend, Takuto, is quiet and almost boring. I honestly don't know why I'm friends with him. It's just that… He reminds me of someone. I examine him while he sits on the swing, swinging slowly back and forth. He had dark brown eyes, he wasn't really spectacular in looks either. He was skinny, almost scrawny. And his hair… A light chestnut brown.

_Images flood my brain, of a woman, no a man, no a woman. She, or he, was… Beautiful. Handsome? Perfect. Golden eyes, slim build, chestnut hair. One scene, a woman with long hair tied in an elegant braid. She stood on the balcony of a mansion, the curtains billowing in the wind. She turned towards me, as if just noticing my arrival. A soft smile tugged at her lips and I began to walk towards her. The memory distorted, and dissolved into static, only to be replaced by another. Another woman. She was different, but, the same. Her hair was cut to her shoulders, and she looked younger. Her clothes were different, a different style, from a different time. But her warm golden eyes were the same. Her head rested on my shoulder as her delicate hands turned the pages of a book. A voice, a low voice, came from my mouth. I whispered a name I didn't recognize, and a term I didn't understand. But the woman looked up from her book and pressed her head into the nape of my neck. I felt an overwhelming sense of protectiveness as the memory disappeared. Another one now. I was in pain, surrounded by rubble. I lay on my stomach and saw nothing but crimson. Blood was spattered on every surface, screams echoed in my ears. I pulled myself forward, towards a bloodied figure on the ground a few feet from me. Despair clutched at my heart as I slowly crawled towards the limp body. It was a guy this time, but he felt the same as the women I had seen before. The same slim figure, and the same chestnut hair. His hair was matted with blood and when I finally reached him, his familiar golden eyes fluttered open. My breathing was heavy, my body felt numb. I reached towards him, and our fingers met. His eyes met mine, tears blurred my vision, I-_

"Hotsuma? Hey are you alright?" My head snaps up, tears rolling down my cheeks. Takuto was staring at me, worried.

"I-I." I stammer, quickly wiping away the tears. My head ached. Why am I crying? I try to remember the flash of memories I had just experienced, but to no avail. I stared at Takuto, at his hair, straining to remember. I quickly give up, and stand. Takuto steps back, looking both worried and scared. I was in no mood to play around anymore. "I'm going home." I mutter, "Bye." He stares, completely bewildered, as I run back towards my mother and little brother to beg them to go back home.

As my family begins to collect themselves, a black car pulls up to the side of the park. It immediately draws attention from everyone. It looks foreign, and the windows are tinted black. A woman emerges from the driver's side and opens the passenger seat door. A tall man with long hair steps out of the car, and he instantly directs his piercing gaze at me. He approaches my mother and holds out a hand. Flustered and confused, she shakes it. The man seems familiar, but my attention is pulled towards the car. I couldn't see inside of it, but my body begins to walk towards it without my consent. I had only walked a few steps before the long-haired man put his hand on my shoulder. I jump slightly, and look up at him.

"I'm sure you're curious about who I am." I scowl at him, almost irritated. Of course I knew who he was.

"Takashiro, lemme go." I growled. Wait. Takashiro? The man looked down at me, slightly taken aback. He then smiled and ran his hand through my hair. I was confused. Who is Takashiro? How did I know that name…?

"Oh, so you do remember?" He shoots a reassuring look at my confused mother and leads me towards the car. My heart feels as if it has wings, each step I take, my mood lightens. By the time I'm standing outside the car door, I have a huge grin on my face. Yet, I don't know why… The man, or, Takashiro, opens the rear car door.

Inside the car is a boy. He's about my age, maybe older. Skinny, wearing long pants and a t-shirt, and looking about as happy as me. He has big golden eyes, and soft chestnut hair. A light grin tugs at the corners of his mouth. He feels so familiar, and so perfect. I leap into the car, no questions asked. I hear a soft chuckle come from Takashiro as he closes the car door and settles himself in the passenger seat.

"N-name!" I nearly shout at the boy. I blush, then compose myself. "What's your name?"

The boy blinks twice, he has long eyelashes (almost too long for a boy), before answering. "Shuusei. Shuusei Usui."

I grin, "I'm Hotsuma Renjou."

* * *

***LUNA***

I'm sitting in an unfamiliar car. With an unfamiliar man. But with a completely familiar boy. Hotsuma, his name is. For some inexplicable reason, I feel calmer now. I was nervous, when this man, Takashiro Giou, pulled up in his black car in front of my house. My parents didn't even bother to hear his story of clans and superpowers, they let me go without a word. I doubt that they would've noticed if the man had been a kidnapper, they still would have sent me with him. But this is irrelevant. This boy sitting next to me, Hotsuma Renjou, he is as bright as the sun. I've never met him, but his name rings in my head like a thousand bells. The short car ride passes in silence, I stare at the back of the seat in front of me as Hotsuma fidgets, unraveling the frayed bottom of his shirt. The car slows to a stop in a deserted part of a public park. We all leave the car and Takashiro leads Hotsuma and I to a fountain surrounded by trees.

"Do you remember this place? It looked very different a hundred years ago." Takashiro gazes down at the crystal clear water. I do remember this place. I turn on the spot, taking in the smell of pine and the sound of songbirds. To my right, Hotsuma is doing the same, his eyes squeezed shut. Memories of happier times fill my mind,

_A group of people sat in an open field surrounded by trees . A beautiful woman sat in the middle of the group, and next to her was a dark-haired man of equally exquisite beauty. A strawberry blonde girl lay in the lap of a silver-haired boy. A cute girl with dark red hair was teasing a tall man as her partner watched in amusement. A boy with black hair sat slightly apart from the group, his eyes shut as if in a trance. I sat next to my blonde partner, his usual loud mouth was closed for once and listened to the songbirds. The sweet spring breeze blew through the clearing, sending a barrage of flower petals through the air._

Again! These memories that are not mine. My eyes snap open, and Takashiro places a comforting hand on my shoulder. He grabs Hotsuma's hand and pulls us closer together.

"All will be clear." Takashiro smiles as he hands a silver ring to both of us. As the metal touches the palm of my hand, my memories unlock. It was as if they had been contained in an increasingly weakening chest, and the lock had finally been broken. Everything, all of my memories, all of my insecurities and emotions, all of my past lives, they were all unleashed. I clutch my head; along with the sweet memories of love and friendship come dark memories of pain and torture. Some memories had been lost to time, but the significant events of my life, it seems, have been carefully recorded in this ring. I stare at Hotsuma, who was mirroring my actions, and I finally realize who he, who we are.

"Zweilt." I murmur. Takashiro nods and steps back, allowing us our reunion. I stare at Hotsuma in a new light. He is my partner. He has been my friend, my ally, my… lover. He seems to realize the same. He runs and embraces me, and I hug him back, tentatively. I know him, more than I can ever know any other human, but we have been born anew, and this contact is unfamiliar.

He takes my ring as I take his, we know the ritual. Like we have in years long past, we recite the vows of the Zweilt. He slides my Zweilt ring onto my right index finger, and I slide his onto his right thumb. The rings form perfectly to our fingers and our names of this life are engraved onto them. We stand for a minute, hands clasped together. We are finally reunited, finally whole.

* * *

*So sappy, I can't even...*

Please rate and review!


	3. Childhood 2

***Luna***

It's been nearly a year since we were reunited, but I can think of nothing else. He is amazing, Hotsuma. Eyes full of wonder, endless kindness, a heart and soul as bright as the sun. We were transferred, using Takashiro's influence, to the same school. There too he shines, surrounded by friends. I'm so proud of him, so proud that his eyes light up for me. It is strange, these emotions. My heart fills with an emotion that I can't understand whenever he's near. And whenever he's gone, it's as if the lights have gone out. I have lived, and hold memories, from hundreds of years. I remember our years as a married couple, and I remember my first reincarnation as a man, the awkward first meeting. He had been almost indignant, and we spent years avoiding the topic. Eventually I admitted that I had wished for it, and he had looked so hurt. I wanted, I still want, to protect him. To fight for him. To die for him. I didn't admit the last wish, but I'm sure he knew. As a woman, I was always on the defensive, creating shields and trapping our enemies. I was a burden, something that needed to be protected. Strength had been sacrificed for endurance, and while my barriers were nearly impenetrable, I was physically weak. Each wound I suffered intensified the guilt Hotsuma placed upon himself, and I was more afraid of that then the pain itself. Reborn, I could fight. I was slower, my magic was weaker, but I was able to further utilize my twin swords. The misunderstanding was cleared, I wasn't rejecting him, how could I? My partner is perfect.

I've always been quiet, always lost in my own thoughts. I enjoy losing myself to old memories rather than creating new, and possibly sad or painful, ones. I sit on my bed, in my neat room. It isn't anything special, just a bed, a light, and a desk. To an outsider, they might just see it as my natural neatness, but I know the truth. My parents don't care enough to further furnish the room. Not that I care, not anymore. There's nothing that I would put on the walls, I don't value anything enough to display. It's morning, and school will begin soon. I slowly stand and dress, folding my discarded pajamas and placing them in their specified drawers. I quietly take my bag and slip downstairs; my father is sitting at the kitchen table and my mother is lounging in a large armchair by the entrance. I ignore the kitchen, no use in eating anyways. My parents acknowledge my departure only with a glance and my father reminds me to lock the door. The lock clicks shut as I leave, leaving the cold house behind. My mood has darkened, how embarrassing. Just once, I want to know, to hear, that they have any interest in me.

Takashiro's black car is parked in the driveway, his secretary sitting in it, waiting to take Hotsuma and I to school. I slide into the backseat and the car slowly pulls away. As we approach Hotsuma's cozy home, my mood lightens considerably. He leaps into the car, energetic as always, and I greet him with a smile.

"Yo, Shuusei!" He grins. Oh, will he ever understand the emotions he evokes in me? I laugh with him as he tells me stories from his home, stories about his brother, about the dinner his parents are to prepare for tonight. "You're coming over again right?" He asks, teeth showing in a toothy smile.

"Like always." I reply. Hotsuma's home is like him, warm and welcoming. I spend almost every day there, anything to leave the ice palace that is my home. We pass the rest of the short drive chatting about school, homework, friends. The black car pulls up to the front of our school and we exit, and walk towards the flat building together.

Class passes as usual, lessons are taught, notes are taken. At lunch Hotsuma finds me, and we sit together, surrounded by his friends. "He really is popular" I think, with a mix of jealousy and pride. Hotsuma offers me part of his food, noticing that I hadn't brought any. I decline as usual, I don't have an appetite. I don't enjoy eating, it seems a waste of time in such a short life. He looks at me, slightly worried, before the bell rings, signaling the end of lunch. We return to our respective classrooms, and the day passes quickly. I can't leave the classroom quickly enough.

I stand in our normal spot, under the large tree in the schoolyard, when a group of three boys approach. I glance at them, something feels uneasy about them.

"So," the tallest one starts, "You're Usui right?" I nod slowly.

"You've got a lot of nerve y'know." A kid with pitch black hair stands behind the tall one, and glares at me. I'm confused, but not threatened. I've faced thousands of Duras, hundreds of Opasts, and at least a dozen General Class Duras, I'm not going to back down in the face of three schoolboys. The tallest one pipes up again,

"My dad says that your family is no good." Well, I knew that already. "That you're family is built on the suffering of others." I stay silent. This appears to anger the boy, as his face flushes and his hands clench into fists. He pulls his arm back, preparing to punch me I assume. I decide to let him. There's nothing to be gained from getting involved in a fist fight. If this kid wants to fight me over my family's wrongdoings then I have no right to stop him. I close my eyes in preparation, and his small fist slams into my left cheek with surprising force. I lose my balance and stumble sideways.

"Huh," I think, "Strong emotions really bring out the fight in some people…" The boy is breathing heavily, glaring down at me with contempt. I cup my cheek, feigning a more intense pain. If hitting me will satisfy him, then I suppose I might as well make it convincing. My cheek does sting, but I remain on the ground.

"HEY!" Oh no. Hotsuma is sprinting over, his face red with rage. He grabs the boy by his collar and scowls at him. "Did you hurt him?" Hotsuma jerks his head in my direction. I stand quickly, perhaps I'm too good of an actor. The boy looks terrified; Hotsuma can look fierce when he needs to. I calmly walk over to the pair and place my hand on Hotsuma's shoulder. He looks at me quickly and our eyes meet. I know he understands. He lets the kid go. The boy scrambles away, his two friends in tow.

"You didn't have to be that rough with him." I remark as we both climb back into the sleek black car.

"He hit you." Hotsuma scowled, his thick eyebrows angled sharply.

"I've been hit by worse." I immediately regret saying this; a shadow falls over Hotsuma's face. "It doesn't hurt." I reassure him.

"Are you sure? Really sure?" He leans over and places a gentle hand on my slightly swollen cheek. My heart skips a beat at the unexpected contact. I nod, closing my eyes at his touch. After a moment, he leans back into his seat. "Well, the next time I see that kid, I won't go quite so easy on him."

"Haha, I doubt that." Hotsuma couldn't actually hurt someone, it wasn't in his nature. In the year that I had spent with him in this lifetime, he has never truly hated anyone. He looked downwards, blushing slightly.

"… 'spose not." He looks over at me, his eyes hovering on my face. I put my hand to the bruised cheek self-consciously. I change the subject quickly.

"Every time I see you, your hair grows a shade lighter." Hotsuma looked surprised.

"Really?" He turned to look at his reflection in the car window. It was true, when I had met him his hair was a dark brown, nearly black, and now it was a lighter brown, nearly as light as mine. I admired him as he studied his reflection. It's strange to think, but, he is mine. And mine alone. I chuckle to myself, I need to check my possessiveness.

* * *

***Sol***

I stare at my reflection in the car window without seeing anything. I'm still angry at the brat who had dared to hit Shuusei, and I'm still worried about that injury. But, I notice how uncomfortable Shuusei looks when I worry about him, so I try not to. "I can't help it." I think, mentally frowning. How am I supposed to not worry about him? "He's my partner and I care about him, and why did he let that brat hit him anyways? Come to think of it…" My brow furrowed, "Why did that kid hit him?" I can't imagine that Shuusei had done anything to set him off. I steal a quick glance at my partner only to catch him looking at me. We laugh off the slightly awkward moment as the car pulls into my driveway. Home at last.

I lead Shuusei into my house, even though he must know the entire layout by now. My mother greets us as I go up the stairs with him, two at a time. She shouts up that dinner will be ready in a few hours, and I shout down an acknowledgement before shutting my bedroom door. Shuusei settles himself down on the floor and I quickly join him.

"Has Takashiro contacted you yet?" He asks, hugging his knees to his chest. I shake my head. Takashiro has left us alone for the past year, other than having one of his associates escort us to and from school. He had promised to contact us; to further help us unlock our powers. Unlike Shuusei, I didn't retain clarity for the majority of my memories from past lives; therefore, I can't control my powers as well as he can. I remember bits and pieces; most memories involve major battles, and the occasional quiet moments of peace. I also remember an intense frustration, and an intense longing to grow closer to our center, our Light. This frustration had shown itself in a standoffish nature in my past life, that much I remembered. Just the thought of "Yuki" irritates me.

"Have you been able to unlock any of your powers yet?" Shuusei looks towards me carefully, slight worry in his golden eyes. I shake my head slightly. I lit a candle once when I stared at it long enough, but thinking back, it could have been a fluke… Shuusei dropped the subject at the slight look of frustration on my face. He was so sensitive to my moods that it almost hurt. It hurt to see how quickly he would change, how he would inconvenience himself, just to cater to my moods and whims. Just as I was about to bring up this subject, my mother called for us from downstairs.

"Coming!" I shout, jumping to my feet. I hold out my hand to Shuusei, who takes it and follows me down to the kitchen. I slide into my chair and he settles into the chair to my left. My brother scrambles into his seat across from me and my mother sets out the plates. My dad enters the house, sets down his briefcase, and joins us at the table. The table is soon full of food, and we begin to eat. My mother had been slightly awkward with me for a while after Takashiro approached her, but all traces of awkwardness seem to have disappeared. She hands me a glass of water with a warm smile, as usual. I feel loved, surrounded by those I most care about. I notice that Shuusei is eating. He worries me, I almost never see him eat a true meal. That's part of the reason I enjoy having him here so often.

I also notice my little brother is eating less than usual. He also has been coming home with more scrapes and bruises than usual. He is very active and clumsy, but it isn't like him to receive that many injuries in a single day. I vow to get to the bottom of it as I finish the rest of my food. After all, my brother is in my top five list of most important people. Shuusei being first of course.


	4. Flames

***Sol***

I hear my brother screaming, crying. I run, and see him on the ground, bloodied. I leap to cover his body with my own. The boys, older than I, are jeering at us.

"Waste of space Renjou!"

"Waste of life!"

Feet crash down on my shoulders and back, pain shoots through my entire being. The jeering grows louder, the feet come down harder. My brother is crying, his body shuddering under mine. Reason is lost, replaced by rage. The world is colored red, my eyes fill with angry tears. Cruel laughter echoes around us. The cruelty of children is truly unmatched.

Another boy joins the crowd, and his feet join the others, his voice joins in the chorus of cruelty. I can feel it, in my throat, the fire. Rage fills me from the bottom up, burning my insides with its embers. It's as if my body is catching fire. I try to suppress it, but the agonized cries of my brother further fan the flames. My mouth opens, my eyes cut through my attackers.

"DROP DEAD!" I scream, and it is as if all the fire explodes from my very soul. Fire engulfs our attackers, and their screams of pain pierce through the autumn air. Fire surrounds me.

"No." I don't want this. I didn't want this. I scramble backwards, away from the carnage. "NO!" The boys fall to the floor, writhing in agony. Their forms are reflected in the innocent eyes of my brother, the eyes that are now turned to me. They are full of terror, fear of me. "I-" What can I say? I didn't do it? I did. I did this. Rain begins to pour from the heavens, but the flames burn on. The reflections of fire bounce off the wet concrete, staining the entire world red and yellow. Surrounded by pain, I scream.

* * *

A coarse blanket falls onto my shoulders as I sit on the curb of the singed concrete road. My head jerks up, tears still pouring from my eyes. Takashiro is sitting next to me, his hand on my trembling shoulder. I have no words to say to him, so I avert my eyes. It is a mistake. My gaze falls upon my brother, being treated in the back of an ambulance. He notices my gaze and screams, trying to increase the distance between us. The burned boys are loaded into an ambulance and rushed to the hospital.

"What have I done?" I mutter. I am beyond horrified at myself. Takashiro looks down at me, regret in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I should have contacted you earlier. But they will recover and their families have been-" He stops when he notices my expression. It isn't his fault but mine. I set those boys on fire. I'm the monster. The tears won't stop.

"Hotsuma!" Shuusei. Shuusei is here. I feel relief, but almost instantaneous guilt. What right do I have to feel relief… Shuusei falls to his knees in front of me and takes me in his arms. I want to stay, in his embrace, forever. But I push him away, and I can see pain in his expression. I don't deserve him. "Hotsu…ma." His eyes are full of intense concern, his arms lay limply at his side. Takashiro is beckoned by a police officer and Shuusei and I are left alone.

"What have I done…?" I murmur. Shuusei joined me on the curb, sitting so our shoulders touched lightly. The touch was comforting. I gave up on pushing him away, it was impossible anyways. I turned my head towards him and sobbed into his shoulder. My cries drowned out by the rain, Shuusei held me. Long after the ambulances had gone and the only ones left were us and Takashiro, he still held me. I don't deserve to be comforted. I am a monster.

A monster.


	5. Adolescence

*Author's Note* It's Shuusei's birthday today! (Jan 5) *whoo* I'm glad you guys are liking this so far! Your reviews are what keeps me going~ Special thanks to Yuumon2, Fireblaze, and Bitterness11 for your super sweet reviews! Please continue to support me :D

* * *

***Sol***

_The soft light of the fireplace gives a soft orange glow to the spacious room. The room itself is well decorated; paintings in large frames adorn the walls, a large rug spread over the hardwood floor. I sit on the floor, leaning my back against the couch. My eyes are shut as I feel the gentle warmth of the fire on my face. Shuusei is asleep on my shoulder, his breathing deep and steady. I allow a small smile to grow on my face. This is true happiness. _

_In a moment, the peace is broken. Shuusei disappears, my eyes jerk open but my body remains immobile. I can't move and panic begins to set in. The fire in the fireplace grows hotter and hotter; a spark jumps out and sets fire to the rug. I am pinned to the floor by an invisible force as I watch the flames grow. It's too hot now, I can't bear it. I am forced to watch in horror as my body is engulfed in fire; my mouth opens in a silent scream._

Dripping with sweat, I jerk awake. I'm on the floor again, my bedsheets strewn around me. I tremble and cough, forcing clean air into my lungs. The same nightmare. For the past two years I have been haunted by the same nightmare. There have been variations, and they don't happen every night, but every time they happen they are just as terrifying. It didn't take a genius to interpret these dreams. It has also been about four years since I set my brother's bullies on fire. Families had to be contacted, dues had to be paid, apologies had to be made. We had changed schools twice, once after the incident, and once after someone had discovered what I had done. I shiver as an intense wave of regret crashes over me. I run, crying, to Shuusei's home. I allowed myself to be comforted, sobbing and crying his name as his arms surrounded me. My one moment of weakness led to all this suffering, I can't allow myself to hate anyone again. Takashiro has been training Shuusei and I every day since the incident, and I still have little control over my power. The voice of God, what a hopeful name. It's nothing but a pretty label on an ugly disaster.

I allow myself a few minutes on the floor, shivering and buckled over with shame, before collecting myself. I tidy up my bedsheets roughly, crumpling them into a pile on the corner of my bed. I check the clock, 6:20 a.m. It's about time for me to wake up anyways. I scan my room for my school uniform. My room is slightly untidy, it's always been like this, and video games litter each surface. The t.v. is still on, humming softly. I walk over to it and switch it off, then unplug the game console from it. I eventually find my uniform on the seat of my desk chair. I throw it onto my bed as I leave the room. In the bathroom, I'm brushing my teeth when I notice my sweat-matted hair and face. I decide to take a shower, I'm up early anyways. I turn the water to the coldest setting, to chase away the fire of my nightmares. After drying myself off, I begin to exit the bathroom. The door opens and my brother is there, his hand inches from the doorknob.

"O-oh! Hotsuma…" He averts his eyes. I look down at him, refusing to show my hurt. I don't blame him for fearing me, Takashiro had erased his memory, but he was told what I had done. He backs up to avoid contact as I pass him, his eyes following me with apprehension. Wanting to get out of the house, I changed quickly, stuffing my schoolwork into my bag messily. I check the clock again, 7 a.m. now. Takashiro's secretary should be here any minute. I hop down the stairs quickly, my hand is on the front door handle when I look back towards the kitchen. My mother is standing there, and she quickly forces a warm smile onto her face.

"Oh, don't you need to eat something before you leave?" She asks, trying to hide her uneasiness. I nod. I follow her into the kitchen, unconsciously begging for her to speak to me as she used to. She hands me a piece of buttered toast on a napkin, which I take with a short, "Thanks." I hear a soft knock at the door, and I turn. The now-familiar black car is parked in our driveway, and Shuusei must be at the door. I mutter a goodbye to my mother, and she waves me out the door, her expression unreadable.

"How are you?" Shuusei asks, as we climb into the car.

"Mmm-fine-mph." I reply, my mouth full of toast. It wasn't a total lie. I was certainly upset from the nightmare, and my family's reaction to me, but it wasn't anything that I would allow to ruin my entire day. Also, I'm finally with Shuusei, and he always manages to put me in a better day without saying a word. I finish my toast, and Shuusei brushed crumbs off my pants.

"You're so messy." He chuckles. I blush and turn my gaze towards the window. It's a chill winter day, and I suddenly remember something.

"Wait Shuusei. Today's your birthday isn't it?" He looks surprised.

"Yes. How did you remember?" Shuusei isn't one to make a big deal about his own birthday. He hadn't even mentioned the date to me since we were children.

"How could I forget? You _are_ my partner." He averts his eyes, but I can tell he's pleased. My mood lightens at his endearing embarrassment. I had bought him a gift weeks ago in preparation, I'd have to get it to him tonight somehow.

My mind is focused mostly on these plans to surprise him, and most of the school day passes without incident. At lunch, I search him out. He enters the room surrounded by a group of his classmates, all clambering for his attention. He catches my gaze and attempts to escape from the crowd, but they follow him until he is mere feet from me.

"Oi Shuusei, let's go." I almost yell, getting the attention of his classmates. I glare at them, and they glare back.

"Usui, where are you going with this kid?" one of the girls asks while staring daggers at me. He laughs nervously.

"C'mon." I growl, walking away from the crowd. I heard Shuusei make his excuses and follow me. I heard his friends whisper behind us, glancing quickly at me and back.

"Hotsuma…" Shuusei looked worried. He knows why I'm like this. I push everyone away, and I never allow my true self to be seen. If I don't know anyone, I can't hate anyone. I can't hurt anyone. We sit outside the school, in the shade of a dark tree. I sit on the ground, my back to the school, as he leans against the wall next to me. He sips a drink package as I wolf down a hamburger. I shed my standoffish exterior as I enjoyed his presence.

"Hey, eat something." He glances at me bemusedly,

"I am." He continues to sip at his drink.

"That isn't food." I frown. I tear off a chunk of my burger and offer it to him. He glances at it for a moment before taking it. He takes small bites as I stare at him intently. He smiles when he finally finishes it and I relax. "How's class? You're running for presidency of the disciplinary committee this year right?"

"Vice-presidency. And I'm not sure yet…" He shifts his position on the wall. I stand up slowly, and lean my head onto his shoulder. I can feel his heartbeat quicken as he notices the contact.

Physical contact has been awkward in this life. It's not that Shuusei and I are uncomfortable with each other, but society is not as understanding as it could be. In private, we allow the contact. When my classmates found out what I did and I found myself crying at Shuusei's home, we spent the entire night in his neat room, fingers entwined.

The bell rings and we separate. I return to my classroom, ignoring the reproachful glances. I sat at my desk, leaning back on my chair. I nap through the next lesson, the nightmares leave me exhausted. I eventually wake up, but continue to daydream. "Once I'm home," I think, "I'll grab Shuusei's gift, and run to his house. I should be there before it gets dark." I rest my head on my hands and stare blankly at the teacher, thinking of Shuusei's potential reaction to his gift.

* * *

***Luna***

I collapse on my bed. It's one of the rare days where there is no Zweilt training. It's also my birthday. "I wonder what Hotsuma got me." I think, staring at the white ceiling of my bedroom. I'm surprised he even remembered, I had only mentioned it offhandedly years ago. I heard a shout from downstairs. They're at it again… I slowly creep down the stairs, intending to leave the house.

"I don't have time for this." The quiet irritation of my father is evident in his strained tone.

"You never have time, but you sure spend enough time doing your 'job'! I hear nothing but accusations wherever I go!" My mother's shrill tone cuts through the house like lightning. "All I hear is how corrupt my husband is. Who's family you've backstabbed. The lives you step on to reach the top of your company."

"You're telling me that you don't appreciate the checks that come in the mail? Don't lie; you only care about your reputation."

My mother's response is cut short as I close the front door. Still in my school uniform, I stand at the gate of my house, waiting. I don't need to wait long.

"Shuusei!" The sound of his voice dispels the cloud of darkness around me. Hotsuma skids to a halt in front of me, pausing a moment to catch his breath. "What the hell're you doing out here?" I don't respond, he doesn't need to know. I grip the sleeve of his shirt, he hadn't changed out of his uniform either, and pull him onto the sidewalk.

"Let's walk." He looks at me, a slight look of confusion in his gold eyes. I admire them; in the sunset they shine like stardust. He eventually begins to walk next to me, and we admire the sunset. We eventually stop at the park, and Hotsuma quickly climbs up the tallest tree. It's been our perch for years; there are worn spots in the wood where our hands and feet carry us to its highest branches. I follow him up, eventually resting on one of the more sturdy perches. He sits in the crook of a branch as it sways dangerously in the wind. I'd tell him to be more careful, but I know he'd catch himself if he were to fall. It's here where we feel closest to the sky. The sun has set completely; the stars scattered across the deep blue sky. Hotsuma clears his throat. I tear my gaze from the sky to look towards him.

He hands me a small, neatly-wrapped box. "Happy Birthday." He's looking at me with a completely unguarded expression, an expression he only shows to me. I take the box, my heart swelling with happiness. It didn't matter that he'd gotten me anything, or even that he remembered. He was here with me now. Only with him does the future seem bright. I unwrap the little box, and nestled in white tissue is a charm. The charm is a peridot, my guardian stone, in a golden locket. The locket has an engraving of a feather circling the gem. Also in the box lay a thin gold chain and a shorter chain with a loop at the end. As he caught me looking at them, Hotsuma said,

"In case you want to use it as a cell phone charm. Or necklace." He blushed furiously. "Is it too weird? Darn, I never know what to get you… When you were a girl it was easier, now I don't-" I cut off his nervous babbling with a smile.

"It's perfect. Don't worry so much." I thread the locket on the longer chain and put it on. Hotsuma's face turned an even brighter shade of red. I put the little box into my pocket and he leaned towards me. I mirrored him and our foreheads touched. I could feel his breath tickle my chin and I laughed softly. Under the warm light of the moon, we sat close to the heavens. A pair. Hotsuma leaned back and stared intently at me. I could feel a blush grow on my face as he stared, as if seeing my very soul. His hand covered mine and our faces inched closer together, his head turning slightly. I shivered; his lips were barely an inch from mine. I closed my eyes, and…

With a loud crack, the branch under Hotsuma gave way. With a shout and a curse, he fell several feet before catching himself on a branch. I heard a cry of "DAMMIT!" as that branch snapped and he fell the last few feet to the ground, landing in an irritated heap. With a mix of amusement and worry, I climbed down from the tree, jumping the last few feet to land next to my disheveled partner. I grabbed a roll of bandages from my jacket pocket, years of hanging around Hotsuma taught me to always be prepared for minor injury. I bandaged his scraped hand and knees. I took one look at his slightly frustrated face and burst into laughter. He resists for a moment before laughing himself. "This." I think while doubled over in laughter, "This is true bliss."


	6. Ashes to Ashes

***Sol***

The bell signals the end of the school day. I shove my books into my bag and nearly sprint out of the room. There are only weeks until the year is over, only weeks until Shuusei graduates and moves on to Mari Izumi academy. I dread the time where I can only see him after school. I curse Takashiro, why can't he manipulate our rebirth so we can be born in at least the same year? Of course, I'm being irrational.

I meet Shuusei at the front gate. "His little fanclub is here," I notice sourly. Shuusei is popular, almost too much so. I don't like the idea of so many people striving to be close to him. He waves goodbye to them. I notice, with perverse happiness, that the smile on his face is the fake smile he uses for those he doesn't really care for. Immediately I feel a bit regretful, why on earth do I have to feel this intense possessiveness? We both climb into the car.

"Hey," I call to Takashiro's secretary, "How long do we need to be escorted around? We're not children." She smiles.

"Once you move to the Twilight mansion." I scowl at the implications of this. Zweilt are moved to the Twilight mansion once it is deemed too dangerous or difficult for them to survive as normal human beings.

"Damn Takashiro and his attempts to give us a normal life." I say, only half-sarcastically. Shuusei laughs next to me. The car ride was typical, and as always, it was too short. I regretfully part from Shuusei, and our hands touch for a mere moment before I part. I know I'll see him in only a few hours, but I still hate any separation. We had Zweilt training as usual today, but I realize that I had forgotten one of my bags in the library. I come to this realization as soon as I step into the house, and quickly turn around to leave again.

"Hotsuma." I turn back to see my mother smiling. I look back, warily. I'm still unsure of her feelings towards me. I'm sure she harbors fear for her own son, but I'm hopeful that there's love under the uneasiness. "Where are you going?"

"Just to the library." I say, controlling my tone carefully.

"Alright," she says, "I'll make your favorite dinner. Come home soon." She is still so kind to me, but it feels different than the genuine kindness I remember from my childhood.

"Got it."

I sprint to the library in record speed. At the library I ask the librarian if she's seen my bag. She seems taken aback by my gruff politeness. Hah, it's funny how the adults assume I'm some hyper-aggressive brat. She hands me my bag and I check it quickly. Good, everything's still there. That'll teach me to take my games to the library… I thank the librarian and she waves me off slightly dazedly. I switch on the game console from the bag to check the time. I still have an hour until I need to meet Shuusei. I walk at a much slower pace to return home, stopping by a convenience store to buy a soda.

Without Shuusei, time seems to pass so slowly. As I sip the fizzy drink, I think back. In all the time that we have known each other, I don't think I've gone more than a day without seeing my partner. Although Takashiro mentioned to me once that one Zweilt pair had been reborn as siblings. "I'm jealous…" I think. It must be nice to spend every moment since birth with your partner. I still have a long walk until my home, so I allow myself to become lost in memories of previous lives. Flickers of memories cloud my vision as I walk the straight line home.

_I lean on the railing of a balcony overlooking a well-groomed garden. Translucent curtains billow in the wind as I feel the comforting presence of my partner beside me. I look down at her; her eyes are closed and the light breeze plays with her long chestnut hair. I admire her long eyelashes and smooth skin. She shivers slightly as a slightly stronger breeze passes through us. I wrap my arm around her shoulder and her hand rises to cover mine. "I wish this would last forever." I look down at her, surprised. "Just us, the sun, and the wind." I chuckle, burying my mouth and nose in her soft hair. Her scent is unique, a mix of flowers and a natural sweetness. She turns her body towards me and free hand cups her cheek. Her clear eyes stare deeply into mine. "I love you." She murmurs. I tilt her head up with my hand, pulling her closer. My lips meet hers in a gentle kiss. The breeze carries flower petals from the garden up to the balcony; they surround us, tangling themselves in our clothes, the curtains, and her hair. My heart is overflowing with love. "I love you."_

A car horn jerks me out of my memories as a car nearly runs me over. I leap backwards to avoid the car and look up to notice that I'm outside my home already. I take a few minutes to calm myself down; it seemed the only memories of Shuusei I had were romantic or sad. The blush finally fades from my cheeks and I enter the house silently. 

"I can't take this anymore!" That's my mother's voice. I slowly approach the opening of the living room.

"Just put up with it for a bit longer, you know how much money's at stake here." My father. I start to walk in, to ask what's wrong when,

"How long do we have to wait!? I can't do this anymore, I can't constantly live in fear! If we do anything to upset Hotsuma's mood a little, we'll be the ones to burn!" The shrill voice cuts through my body like ice.

"The power of God?" she continues, "The power of God?! He's just a MONSTER!"

A single tear falls from my eye. All my hopes, that they loved me, or even cared about me. Shattered. There wasn't love. Just greed, greed for the payoff they would get for giving birth to me. I leave the house in silence. A bitter laugh escapes me. I guess the jokes on me, eh? Why did I get my hopes up… My body feels empty. I walk towards the park, to where our spot was, without reason or rational thought.

"Hotsuma?" I don't even look up, I know who it is. Shuusei jogs towards me, worry evident on his face. "What are you doing? What's wrong?" Nausea crashes over me and I press a hand to my mouth.

"Shuusei, I'm gonna be sick…" He quickly leads me to a bench and sits me down.

"I'll go get you something to drink, stay here." He runs off, looking back several times as he left. I barely hear him, I can hear nothing but my mother.

He's just a MONSTER!

MONSTER.

I am a monster. All I'm doing is scaring the shit out of my family, out of my classmates. All I do is cause pain. Why am I even here? Why am I alive? What's the point to this life I'm living? A life hated and cursed by all. Realization finally comes to me.

"Y-yeah. That's it." I mutter. Why has it taken me so long to come to this conclusion? All the control that Takashiro has been teaching me, I guess it'll finally be put to use.

"**Die. Hotsuma Renjou**."

Flames explode from the ground at my feet, encircling me. Embers and smoke explode from the spot. I don't even notice the pain as the heat becomes unbearable. I can relax now. It's over. My eyes droop shut, when a pair of arms suddenly encircle my waist.

"Hotsuma!" It's Shuusei, clinging to me, wincing at the intense heat. Intense fear grips my heart.

"Shuusei!" I shout, my voice hoarse from the smoke, "Let go!"

"No! I won't let go! I will _not_ let go!" I can see the fire begin to singe his clothes, he has none of the resistance to fire that I possess. I can see the pain in his eyes. " Didn't you forget?! If you do this, then we can never meet again! Not even in our next lives!" I forgot. How could I have forgotten. The fire is out of my control now, I can't stop it. "If you're still going to do this," Shuusei shouted, "then take me with you!"

No. NO! Shuusei buries his head in my back, I can feel his arms trembling as the fire burns him alive. His groan of agony sends a jolt through me.

"Stop."

Please, God…

"Stop!"

Don't let me lose him.

"STOP!"

In an instant, the fire is extinguished, leaving a ring of smoking concrete. Shuusei's death grip on me suddenly loosens as he collapses. I fall to my knees to catch him, his clothes are destroyed and I can see burnt flesh underneath. The burns extend across his shoulders, down his sides, and on his back. He moans weakly and his eyes flutter open. His breaths are short and labored. His hand raises to touch my face. Tears blur my vision as he whispers my name.

"Ho…tsuma." His hand falls to the ground as he loses consciousness.

"Shuusei! SHUUSEI!" Tears are falling from my eyes, landing on his ruined clothes. Takashiro suddenly appears, apparently out of nowhere, and takes Shuusei from my arms. I refuse to take my eyes of Shuusei as he's lifted into an ambulance, Takashiro leads me into the ambulance. I'm in a daze. This isn't happening. An IV is pushed into his arm and an oxygen mask is fitted over his face. I don't notice the ambulance moving until we pass over a bump in the road. Shuusei groans in pain as he's jostled by the movement. I growl at the driver until Takashiro places a firm hand on my shoulder.

"Are you hurt?" My head jerks up. A female paramedic is looking at me worriedly, tentatively holding out a hand. I look down at my own hands and am shocked to see them covered in a light layer of blood. Confused, I touched my left forearm with my hand, and felt no pain. I realized, in horror, that it was Shuusei's blood. Horror fills me, and only Takashiro's firm grip keeps me from screaming.

The ambulance comes to a gentle halt and the back doors are thrown open. Shuusei is wheeled out, and I try to follow him. Takashiro holds me back. I nearly attack him before I see the severe look on his normally neutral face. He leads me into the waiting room of the intensive care unit of the hospital. With a firm, "Stay here until I call." He leaves me, presumably to see to Shuusei. In the empty room, I finally realize what I had done. What I did to the one person I swore never to hurt. Tears begin to pour from my eyes. Images flash through my mind; images of the fire and his wounds. For the first time since I was reunited with Shuusei…

… I feel truly alone.


	7. Ashes to Ashes 2

Sorry for the lack of updates! I have a bunch of chapters on backup and I'll be posting them all quickly!

* * *

***Luna***

I lay flat on my back, my bag in a heap beside me. Another long day. This strange interest that people seem to have in me grows tiring, but it's worth it to see Hotsuma's jealous face. A smirk crosses my face as I roll onto my side, messing up the perfectly made bed. There's a few hours left until Zweilt training with Takashiro. "I might as well get my work done.." I think. Sluggishly, I sit up, gather my bag and move my things to the small desk in the corner of my bare room. I shed my uniform and change into more casual clothes, a shirt and jacket. As I walk to my closet to look for pants, I cast my gaze around. My room still looks about the same after all these years; same bed, same desk, same lack of furniture. My parents haven't changed a bit either. I can hear them arguing through the closed door. After a few minutes of staring blankly at my notes I give up on homework. The arguing always puts me on edge, and I hate that weakness in me. I've always been the weaker of the pair. Hotsuma is the strong one, and all I can do is support him with the meager strength I possess. He is the only reason I'm alive now; if he wasn't here, I doubt I would find life bearable. He needs me. My parents don't want me, my classmates wouldn't blink an eye if I disappeared, but Hotsuma... The only time I can look to the future with optimism is when he's around.

The one addition to my room is a small electronic keyboard. I bought it after Hotsuma told me he enjoyed my playing. There's a grand piano in the study, but I never venture out of my room if I can't help it. A headset hangs from a hook on the side of the keyboard. I slide into the small bench and place the headset over my ears. The shouting is drowned out as I begin to play. It's a classical piece with a sad melody and convoluted rhythms. My hands dance over the keys, and I play in silence. The song begins to arch towards its climax, my hands straining to keep up with the frantic tempo. At the final chord, my hands crash onto the keyboard, my chest heaving. A tear falls from my eye and I blink, surprised.

Tears continue to fall, and my heart feels as if it has suddenly been sawed in half. I take off the headset and stumble backwards. The pain in my chest is so intense that I choke, clutching at my shirt. This isn't my pain, and my mind quickly puts two and two together. "Hotsuma!" I murmur. Something horrible must have happened to him. In a panic I fling open my room door to see my mother, pausing mid-step on her way to her room. She looks at me for a moment before continuing, and I tear down the hallway, leaping down the stairs 3 steps at a time. I open the front door and sprint out, not bothering to lock the door behind me. "Where? Where!?" I think frantically. "Calm down" I mutter, and concentrate on slowing my heart rate. The panic begins to leave my body as I begin to focus on finding Hotsuma's presence. Remembering what Takashiro told me about my Eyes of God, I focus my concentration on Hotsuma as I clutch the locket at my throat. Thousands of presences pass across my vision. My head begins to ache from trying to focus, it was like wearing glasses that were much too strong. Suddenly, a familiar soul was caught by my eyes, the soul as bright as the sun, although it was glowing weakly at the moment. My eyes only half seeing the path in front of me, I run towards the presence. I'm less then a mile from it when I realize where Hotsuma was headed. The park. My heart aches as I remembered the intense sorrow I had just felt. It has only been backlash through our Zweilt connection, what on earth happened?

I spot Hotsuma from a few hundred feet away, he's walking unsteadily, his eyes focused on the ground. I call out his name and his eyes don't move, but his feet stop and I catch up to him. I place my hands on his shoulders, he's shivering violently. I notice how sickly pale he looks and I lean my head down, forcing him to make eye contact with me.

"Shuusei, I feel sick" he mutters, his eyes red and puffy.

"I'll get you something to drink." I say, setting him down on a park bench. His eyes remain firmly fixed on the ground. I start to walk off, looking back to check on him frequently. I run to a pay phone and quickly dial Takashiro's number. He picks up the phone after a few rings and I quickly give him the location we were in and Hotsuma's mental state. I don't wait for any sort of response and hang up the phone. I quickly grab a juice from a vending machine and hurry back. I feel another crippling pain in my chest as I turn the corner.

Hotsuma was standing, his eyes now turned to the sky. I see his lips move and suddenly realize what he planned to do.

"STOP!" I shout, as flames erupt from the pavement to cloak his figure in fire. The drink falls from my hand as I plunge into the flames, ignoring the intense heat. My arms wrap around his torso, locking him in a death grip.

"Shuusei! What're you doing!?" Hotsuma looks down at me, his eyes wide in surprise and horror.  
What does he think I'm doing? If he does this, he erases himself from this life and all those after. I shout my logic at him, he can't possibly leave me like this. I won't let him.

"If you're going to do this, then take me with you!" I tighten my grip on him.

I can feel the fire now. The flames ignite every nerve in my body, the only thing keeping me conscious is my panic and fear. My clothes are completely burned and the fire starts on my body. The pain is almost unbearable. I bury my head into Hotsuma's shivering back and let out an involuntary groan as my body burns. I stay conscious, I can't allow myself to slip into the darkness, I need to know that he's alive. My vision begins to blur when the flames dissipate. Relief rushes over me as I realize Hotsuma is alive, and the strength disperses from my body as I collapse.

I can hear him shouting my name as I lay in his arms. My entire body feels heavy, as if the fire had sapped all strength from it. I force my eyes open, to confirm his survival. I see his tear stained face above me and I reach up to touch him.

"Hotsuma." I falter in my speech, pain clouding my senses. I allow my consciousness to fade to black, finally giving in to its soft embrace.


	8. Transition

***Luna***

My eyes flutter open to see a stark white ceiling. There's an oxygen mask over my mouth and nose, and a rough blanket is draped over my tattered body. My eyes wander down from the ceiling, coming to rest on a figure sitting in a chair beside my bed. With a pang of disappointment, I realize it's Takashiro.

"Shuusei," he starts, leaning towards me. I open my mouth to speak but no sound comes except for a raspy cough. I try and sit up but become completely immobilized by pain. Every nerve screams in protest as my body tries to raise itself. Takashiro quickly motions for me to lay still and I comply, more out of delirium than anything. "You've been out for nearly a week." He says.

A week!? I stare at him incredulously. "You're at the hospital." He continues, "You're going to be fine but there may be some.. err... scarring." He falters. Imagining the worst, I try my best to examine myself. Bandages cover about 80% of my body, limiting my movement. My arms are essentially immobilized as my shoulders are wrapped in several layers of cloth. I try and clear my throat and manage to cough out a word,  
"Hotsuma?" Takashiro looks at me, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Would you like him to be here?" The tone in his voice made it clear that I was not in presentable condition. I shake my head, despite wanting him here more than anything else.

"How is he?" I ask, my voice barely louder than a whisper.

"He has minimal injuries, his natural resistance to fire protected him." I breath a sigh of relief, and that motion itself causes my parched throat to scream in protest. As if reading my mind, Takashiro offers me a glass of water, lifting the cup to my lips. I sip the liquid graciously. The cool water soothes my throat and I make another attempt at speech.

"Is he here?" My voice was slightly stronger. Takashiro looked at me with one eyebrow raised slightly.

"I don't believe he's left the waiting room for the entire week." I tip my head in acknowledgement, my mind full of a different anxiety. I hope he doesn't blame himself. It was my decision to jump into the fire, and this is the consequence. But I know him, and I know that he'll torment himself for years over this.  
My pondering is interrupted by a doctor slipping into the room, a nurse with a cart trailing behind him.

"Mr. Usui, how are you feeling?" He asks. He adjusts his glasses, and shoots me a kindly smile.

"I'm fine." I say, trying my hardest to use my natural tone.

"I admire your tenacity, but you can't be feeling fine after that." He gestures at my bandaged body. I grimace in acknowledgement. The nurse brings her cart over to the side of my bed. As I follow her with my eyes I notice a large monitor quietly counting out my heartbeats, as well as an IV on a stand. I look down at my arm, and am surprised to find a needle in the inside of my elbow. I quickly look away, I hate needles. It's not the pain, but the thought of something foreign being injected into my body has never flown well with me.

"I'm going to have to ask you to do something unpleasant..." Said the doctor, redirecting my attention back to him. He had an apologetic look on his face. "I have to ask you to sit up and allow us to change your bandages."Takashiro looked up at the doctor, his expression severe.

"He just woke up doctor."

"He's had the same bandages on for nearly a week, he needs them changed." The doctor looked at me, his lips pursed slightly.

"I understand." I said, mentally bracing myself. The nurse and Takashiro stand on each side of me, their hands hovering as I slowly pull myself upright. I wince as I feel a few wounds reopen.

I sit on the bed, leaning forward slightly. The nurse unties the back of my hospital gown, taking care not to touch the sensitive skin underneath. Even with her exaggerated caution, I cringe away from the contact. The gown slides off me, landing in a pile on my lap. Following the doctor's instructions, I stretch my arms out to allow access to the bandages on my torso. The nurse then begins the slow process of peeling them off. It takes all my willpower to keep from screaming in agony as the bandages tear away from my skin. In the week they had been on, the open wounds below had begun to heal, fusing the bandages to the skin in the process. Each layer removed brings a fresh wave of excruciating pain, and it is only now that I'm glad Hotsuma isn't here.

The last layer is peeled away, leaving the burns open to the air. I hear the nurse gasp quietly, and I can see Takashiro's expression. They must be difficult to look at. I look down at my own chest and take in a sharp intake of breath. The wounds about my chest are massive; there's more red than skin. I quickly avert my eyes; the sight made my stomach tighten uncomfortably. My eyes fall on the doctor, who was now putting on a pair of latex gloves. I focus on his movement to distract myself. He puts a layer of cream, presumably for burns, on his gloved hands. He nudges his way to my bedside, the nurse backing away with a look of relief. His cold hands make contact with my back, and a hiss of pain slips through my clenched teeth.

The doctor soon finishes applying the medicine, and the nurse rebandages me quickly, covering the ugly wounds with pristine white cloth. I lean back, slowly, with a long exhale of relief. My back touches the headboard of the hospital bed and I twitch away from it as pain shoots up my spine. Takashiro is staring at me worriedly, his eyes flicking from my face, to my wounds, and back.

"Do you want him here now?" He asks. It was obvious who "he" was. In a moment of pure selfishness, I nod.  
I know Hotsuma will feel guilt once he walks through the door, but I have never needed to see him more.

Without a word, Takashiro stands and leaves the room. I wait for a few minutes, listening to the clock as it ticks off the seconds. After what feels like eternity, I hear the loud thumping of Hotsuma's footsteps, followed by Takashiro's more steady and quiet feet. I take a moment to compose myself, and to affix a genuine smile on my face. Hotsuma bursts into the room and nearly leaps to land in the chair by my bed. I laugh, trying to erase any trace of the raspiness from when I awoke.

"Hey Hotsuma." I say, trying my best to sound nonchalant.

His face falls as he examines me; his eyes flit from the heart monitor to the IV to the bandages covering nearly all of my visible body. His eyebrows come low over his eyes as he murmurs,  
"Shuusei, I'm so sorry."

* * *

***Sol***

Within moments of uttering the apology, I regret opening my mouth. Shuusei's smile falters, and he breaks eye contact, directing his gaze to the floor.  
My chest feels crushed by guilt.I know Shuusei, and he never shows when he's in pain, but I can see it in his face. How could I have done this? I notice the IV protruding from his arm and remember his hatred of needles, and another wave of guilt intensifies its suffocating hold on my chest.

"I..." I catch myself before I apologize again. "H-how are you?" The question comes out awkwardly and I stutter.

"I'm fine." Shuusei says, but I know it's a lie. He's sitting stiffly and his smile is forced. "Have I really been out for a week?" I nod, not trusting the steadiness of my voice. There's an awkward pause as we stare at each other. Takashiro's phone rings in his pocket and he leaves the room. I run my fingers through my hair, directing my gaze to the clock on the wall. "Hotsuma!" I flinch and look back to him. Shuusei is staring intently at my arm, which was covered in a light layer of bandages. "You're hurt..." What the hell is he thinking? Worrying about me when he's clearly in so much pain. Pain that I inflicted upon him. I let my arm drop to my side, letting the sleeve of my shirt cover the bandages.

"It's nothing." I mutter. It was just light burns, and they were likely healed by now. Zweilt heal more quickly than normal humans. This was also evident in the fact that Shuusei was already sitting up and conscious, any normal human would still be comatose. Takashiro, who had slipped back into the room without me noticing, clears his throat to catch our attention.

"Shuusei, your parents are here." He motions at the door, and two people slip into the room. The woman is slim and extremely beautiful, but she gives off an aura of unpleasantness and pride. The man is not as striking in appearance, but is cold and silent. Shuusei's expression grows unmistakably more detached and blank as they walk in the door. Neither parent resembles Shuusei much, they have neither his personality nor his unique eyes or hair. Zweilt have a tendency to not resemble their parents much, usually resembling their original incarnation more than any genetic ties that occur in rebirth.

"Shuusei." His mother's voice is high, like a bell, but monotone. Shuusei nods, unsmiling.

"How much will this whole hospital stay last?" Shuusei's father is looking at Takashiro. Takashiro barely looks surprised as he responds,

"The Giou clan will take care of it." Shuusei is looking at his hands, which are clasped together. "Also, there's another thing I would like to ask..." Takashiro motions at both Shuusei and I as he says, "As you have been informed, these young men have been predetermined to work as a pair in this life. I have decided that now would be a suitable time to take them both under my care; that is to say, have them move to the Giou clan mansion. We will, of course, compensate you for your children." Shuusei's dad appears to regain focus at the last words. Takashiro wordlessly hands him a small red envelope, likely full of money.  
"Alright." Shuusei's mother says, in her single tone voice. "I hope you will have his things moved quickly. We don't have the free time to empty his room."  
"Not that there's anything to empty." I think bitterly. Shuusei's parents have always been like this, cold and uncaring, perfect statues with rotted centers. I grip the sides of my chair to keep from leaping at them. I stare at my partner to gauge his reaction. His face is completely blank, his gaze only half focused, but his hands are clasped tightly, betraying his discomfort.

"Well," Shuusei's father begins to leave the room, his ice wife in tow, "goodbye then." Without a single glance towards his son, he leaves. The door closes with a quiet thud.

Within moments, Tachibana bursts through the door with a raucous, "SHUUSEI, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" He's wearing a bright red top hat and an equally loud aqua blue suit. I quickly stand and shout back,

"OI! THIS IS A HOSPITAL!" Tachibana has been present at several of our Zweilt training sessions, acting as a target or taunting us when we fail to enrage us. His tricks only ever worked on me though. And he always manages to tick me off.

"Oh~ Hotsu so scary!" He hid behind Takashiro, making exaggerated movements in my direction.

"Why is he here anyways!?" I shout.

"Hotsuma..." The quiet reprimand makes me instantly settle down, as it was Shuusei who said it. He hadn't said a word since his parents left, but he was looking slightly exasperated now. I grinned at him, and the corner of his mouth twitched. Takashiro began to drag Tachibana out of the room. At the door he said,  
"I'll have both of your things in the car by next week, and we'll have you two transfer to the Twilight mansion as soon as possible." And with that, the door swung shut and Shuusei and I were left alone.

I dragged my chair closer to Shuusei's bedside and sat, my hands aching to clasp his.

"Have you slept at all this past week?" He asks quietly, lifting his hand and brushing my messy hair away from my face. The contact sends shivers down my spine, I missed this. "You look terrible." I bet I do. I looked in the window to see my face. There's dark circles under my eyes and my hair is a mess. Now that I'm with Shuusei again I'm sure my appearance will improve, I can't take care of myself properly without him. Despite being unconscious for nearly a week, Shuusei is surprisingly tidy. He must have washed his hair this morning, it was still slightly damp. While observing him, I again notice the bandages wrapped around nearly all of his body and cringe. To distract him from my internal storm of guilt, I grab Shuusei's hand. He's freezing.

"You want a blanket?" I ask, looking at his face. He shakes his head slightly.

"You're enough." He says shyly. I feel my face grow warm and I squeeze his hand lightly. We sat there until midnight, barely speaking, just glad to be reunited. However, every few minutes or so I am reminded of what I did. Whether it be a slight wince as he shifts position, or how he shies away when anything approaches his chest or shoulders, I am reminded that he's in pain. I can only think,

"What have I done?"


	9. Twilight Mansion

*AN* Sorry for the lack of updates guys! Life's been busy! (Creative juices are also running on empty) I will try and refuel (hahaseewhatIdidthere) and update more often! 3

* * *

***Sol***

It's been 6 days since Shuusei woke up, and he's already able to walk around. I vehemently argued with Takashiro, but we're leaving for Twilight mansion today. I can tell that Shuusei's still in pain, as much as he tries to hide it, and I'm pissed that Takashiro thinks he's ready for travel, but it's not my place to argue. Most of our clothes and personal belongings have already been transferred to the mansion, and we each have a small bag with us now that holds the necessities we used while in the hospital. We're outside now. It's chilly and I stand next to Shuusei, who's shivering slightly despite wearing a thick coat. Our gloved hands hover millimeters from each other. The very familiar black car pulls up to the front of the hospital and Takashiro's secretary leaves the drivers seat to open the back doors. I hoist both Shuusei and I's bags, I absolutely refused to let him carry his, into the trunk of the car before sliding in next to him. The setting is eerily familiar as we travel to Twilight mansion. Shuusei gazes out the window, and I suppress the urge to touch him. He seems so delicate to me now, now that I know how every bit of contact causes him pain. I stare at my hands, they are unmarked and clean, but they carry blood and suffering. I have been trying, and failing, to suppress my guilt, as per Shuusei's request. I know I'm causing him guilt by feeling guilt, and that creates more guilt in a vicious cycle of regret. The car pulls into the hidden pathway to the mansion and I can tell we've entered the barrier. All outside noises are silenced. We come into view of the massive building, and an intense wave of nostalgia washes over me. From here I can see the balcony of my room, home to so many memories from lives past. The car slows in front of the main entrance, and Tachibana bursts out of the door to greet us. He greets Shuusei with a shout and greets me with a full blown tackle. I curse as I fall to the ground, kicking him off me and sending him flying.

The main hall looks mostly the same as I remember it from past lives, although my memory is a little fuzzy. Shuusei continues up the winding staircase and heads straight for our rooms. I follow him, jogging a bit to catch up. He stops in front of one room and smiles at me.  
"This one's yours." He then points to a room across the hall, "and that one's mine." He takes his bag from my grasp and opens his own door, disappearing behind it temporarily before reemerging. Tachibana calls up from the dining hall, his voice unnecessarily loud.  
"SHUUSEI, HOTSU, DINNER~!" I'm about to shout back down at him when Shuusei grabs my arm and drags me downstairs.  
The table is set with a wide array of foods, with four plates and utensils wrapped neatly in a cloth napkin. A very young cook stood in the corner of the room; as if presenting his work.

"Ah, so you repainted." Shuusei notes. The cook looks puzzled.  
"It's been like this for at least thirty years hasn't it?" He asks hesitantly. Shuusei smiles at him without responding, it's too much trouble to explain that he meant from our past reincarnation. I sit in a chair near the head of the table, and Shuusei slides into the chair next to mine. Takashiro appears, apparently out of nowhere, to sit at the head of the table, and Tachibana sits across from me. The table feels empty, as the four of us only occupied a mere fraction of the massive dining table. As the cook placed a salad in front of us, I ask,  
"When are the others coming?" I notice the slice of tomato in the salad and grimace. Shuusei sighs and takes it from my plate, popping it in his own mouth.

"The siblings should be coming within the next month or so. Kuroto is still training with his new partner, and Sairi and Ria won't be coming for a while." Takashiro says. Shuusei and I tip our heads in acknowledgement. We eat in silence; the cook had prepared a feast for us. Plates and plates of different meats and side dishes pile onto the table. Shuusei doesn't eat much, I glance over at him between every few mouthfuls. He notices my sour expression and smiles lightly.

The cook, Toma, brings out a cart laden with piles of cakes and other desserts. Shuusei excuses himself with a quick, "Excuse me." I start to get up with him when he places a hand on my shoulder and gently pushes me back down into my seat. I turn and stare after him as he walks out of the room. I notice him wobble slightly. Appetite lost, I stare blankly at the plate of strawberry cake. Tachibana leans his head in his hand and stares at me knowingly.

"Worried Hotsu?" I glare at him, and he grins back at me. Takashiro stands up.

"Hotsuma, I'm going to the police station. World's End is investigating this new string of murders, and we believe it may be Duras related." I continued staring at my plate, using my fork to roll the chocolate covered strawberry around the small plate. "We may need you and Shuusei sooner than expected." At these words, I stood up suddenly, knocking my chair over in the process.

"Shuusei isn't recovered yet!" I say, turning to face him. "Send me alone."

"Don't worry Hotsuma." He chuckles, which only enrages me more. "He shouldn't be directly involved in fighting for a while." He leaves the room and I grimace and turn away. Damn him.

I stomp up the stairs to Shuusei's room. He's sitting on the windowsill, staring at the setting sun. The orange light illuminates his profile and casts a warm glow upon the room. I stare at him, slightly breathless. Apparently noticing my presence, he turns to face me and smiles warmly. He pats the seat next to him with his hand, inviting me over. I stride over and take my place next to him. A chill breeze blows through the window and I close my eyes, enjoying the refreshing air. His breathing is slightly erratic and I glance at him worriedly. I reach out to touch him and he shies away. He looks at my slightly hurt expression and I can see the guilt flash across his face.

"No Hotsuma, I.." He starts, but I turn away. Regret crashes painfully onto my shoulders. He's afraid of me. I force a fake grin onto my face.

"It's been a long day. Shuusei, get some rest." I stand and turn to hide my face. A lump rises in my throat as I leave him alone, shutting the door behind me. I'll spend the rest of my life atoning for what I've done. I can only pray that he'll forgive me.

* * *

***Luna***

Excusing myself from the dinner table, I stumble out of the dining room. I traversed the staircase quickly, and collapsed as I reached my room. My wounds were burning under the bandages. I slowly crawled to the side of my bed and shivered as pain coursed through me. The burns hadn't healed completely, and every movement caused fresh agony. I had been lying to Hotsuma for days, and also to the doctors, saying it doesn't hurt anymore. I can't stand to see him blame himself.

I close my eyes as I wait for the pain to subside. These attacks happen randomly and frequently, it takes all my strength to hide it from Hotsuma. Takashiro has noticed, he's much more perceptive. The pain dulls to a pulsating ache. I release the breathe I had been holding and allow my body to relax. I hear Tachibana's voice downstairs and gather myself off the floor. Hotsuma should be upstairs soon.

I meander towards the windowsill and sit, careful to arrange myself so my back and shoulder didn't have any contact with the wall or window. I arrange myself comfortably just as Hotsuma barges in, panting slightly. I wait until I have full control of my facial expressions and turn to greet him. At my beckoning, he takes a seat next to me. A breeze rushes in through the window and it sends a jolt of pain through my shoulder. I manage to keep my face blank, but a slight gasp escapes from my lips.

_Damn._ Hotsuma's head flicks towards me, eyebrows furrowed. He leans towards me, hand outstretched. Like a wounded animal, I twitch away from his touch involuntarily. Horrified at my own actions, I stare at him. I can see the pain in his eyes and it causes my hearts to skip a beat.

"No Hotsuma, I…" I stumble, trying to find the right words to apologize with. He's already turned his face away. "What have I done?" I think, panicked. For Hotsuma, who believes himself a monster, me running from him is just a confirmation of his fears. He stands up and turns to leave. He mumbles a farewell as he strides away from me. I reach out to grab him, but I hesitate. What can I possibly say to him? The door clicks shut and the soft patter of his footsteps signal his return to his own room. My heart cold as ice, I bury my face in my hands.

Why can I do nothing to help him? Why am I so useless?

Why can I do nothing but love him…?

* * *

_Whoa Shuusei admits he's in love whaaaat?_


End file.
